The Art of Being Still

It is almost frightening what a university's campus looks like at the end of a fall semester. Take for example Campbell University, the most adorable college in North Carolina. Although nothing seems to be around us for at least thirty miles or more, we are a decently sized university. We prefer to call our location the center of nowhere as opposed to the middle of nowhere, just in case you were wondering. But it transforms from the bustling academic home to which I am accustomed into a complete cemetery by the end of the finals week. I feel like I am one of five students left on campus tonight.

My fiancee, Joshua Cox, has one more exam tomorrow. Therefore, I am stuck here until the very end. Today, as my roommates (who are also my best friends) packed up and headed home for the holidays, I was left with nothing to do and no one to do it with. As I took a walk to the Groc, to see if there was anything edible left for dinner in the south campus' grocery store, I noticed exactly how dreary Campbell is without its Camels. I was reminded of Psalm 46:10. That is the verse where God commands us to "be still and know that I am God." Our campus seemed to be pretty talented at the being still part. So I thought that I would give it a go when I got back the abandoned apartment.

This eventually just led to tears. I have realized that I cannot be alone with myself for more than hour without being driven insane by the silence and loneliness. I blame my mother, Stephanie. She is the perfect mix of nurture and wisdom, but she embraced me too much growing up. I miss her presence constantly in my life now that I live 10 hours away from her, and I think I miss anyone's presence when I am forced to be alone. After trying to sit and be still for about thirty minutes, I just had to move.

I knew that I needed an excellent distraction. So I put on Gilmore Girls, the best television series that has ever been, and attempted to straighten my hair. I made macaroni and cheese because it was all I had in my pantry and my trek to the Groc had been fruitless. And then I cried because Josh was at work, Amber and Kelly were home with their families, and my family was hours and hours away.

As I sat in my self pity, I noticed a Christmas gift that my good friend, Rachel, had given me and suddenly realized that out there, in that cemetery of a university, there was another forgotten Camel soul alone. So I texted her, begging for company. And, as Rachel always seems to do, she saved me. Loneliness and mac'n'cheese abandoned, Rachel and I headed for McDonald's, where I had a fantastically happy Happy Meal that included a Keroppi watch. (You know, the frog friend of Hello Kitty!?) I also bought one for Rachel because tonight she was my saving grace. We came back to my not-so-empty apartment and watched The Magical Legend of Leprechauns. Or at least, she and I watched half before she had to head back to study for her last final.

But once she was gone, I actually found myself capable of sitting, being still, and simply thinking of what an amazing God created me and blessed me. He even blessed me with an amazing Christian sister that would abandon her studies to spend a few hours with me in my time of helplessness.

I lead a truly enchanted life with magical people all around (though not all the time!) Today just happened to be God's lesson for me that it's going to take a little patience and time to learn the art of being still.

With Love, Tiffani Elizabeth Thomas